“Always Remember, We Have A Friend In Jesus” A Special Guest Blog Share From My Good Bud “Trey Z Guy”…

Hello Recovery Friends, Seekers, and Welcome New Pals,

I wanted to share an interesting take of a conversation with the Lord by my good pal and fantastic blogger/writer “TreyZ Guy” and his blog “Imagine” http://treyzguyblog.com  Now I know I could do the usual Re-blog, but I feel that’s not good enough for my pal, as Trey always deserves a “FABULOUS” INTRO”! S0,…here is Trey’s *Special and Spiritual* blog post titled: “Me and Jesus”….ENJOY!
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TREYZ GUY, MAN OF MYSTERY….
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“Me and Jesus broke up a few months ago”….

It was a tumultuous relationship at best, mostly on my part.

It seems that I am needy, and kind of a bitch.

Jesus never called me that to my face, but I could see it in his eyes when I would start on one of my “But you promised’ rants.

He’s been very patient with me and has tolerated my little outbursts now and then.

Even after I dumped him and told him that I didn’t believe anything he had ever told me and that I doubted that he had ever even loved me.

I said that all of those Facebook meme’s that he keeps posting on my page is just a poor attempt to stay all up in my business.

I told him that I didn’t appreciate him using his position as the “Son of God’ to influence my friends into subconsciously posting all that crap.

“Why can’t you just leave me alone?” I asked

“I don’t wanna” he said.

“That’s not a very mature reason” I said.

“Deal with it!” he popped off.

I felt like punching him in the eyeball, but it just doesn’t seem right to give Jesus a black-eye, lord knows I’ve tried.  (Pardon my pun)

“It’s over, we have nothing in common” says I.

“What do you mean?” he said “You love Jethro Tull, I love Jethro Tull.”

“What about Black Sabbath?” I said, kinda like a snot.
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“Everybody loves Sabbath” He said. “I…Am…Iron-Man….” He starts to sing, then stops and grins that grin.

“God you’re annoying sometimes” I said. (There’s that damn pun again)

“You know you love me…” he says, like he’s all that.

“So…….I love bacon too, but I can live without it……for a while.” I said.

Real mature….I know.

“Let me put it this way, so you can understand me there Big Dawg….” He says

“I am like your Granny’s refrigerator……you may leave for a while and not come visit me for some time but when you do, there is always something here for you and you don’t even have to ask”

He smiles….

Why did that make sense to me….?

AHA!

“You’re using my starvation on this diet against me, talking about refrigerators!” I surmised.

“I do what I have to, to get your attention” He put a hand on my shoulder….

I shrugged my shoulder and brushed his hand away.

“What about all those years I was drunk, losing my kids, all that abuse I got when I was just a kid!’

I was getting mad again….Not mad maybe…..Betrayed…?

“I was there” he said

“Well….” I said “I never saw you, I never heard anything, I didn’t get no miracle saving me”

I was being petulant now.   I wanted to hurt him….   I wanted to break his heart.

He just stood there looking at me, his hands in his pockets….waiting for me to finish I guess.

“You never went far” he said quietly after I had stood there for a minute staring at my shoes. I looked up at him and frowned.
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When I didn’t say anything to this, Jesus said “Everyone on this world has to walk their own path, everyone on this world has to make their own way and find out what is most important to them, to know that there is more to life than suffering and pain.”

“I didn’t want to walk that particular path” I replied, a little snide jab.

“Neither did I….” he said. “But I did.”

He had a good point.

I couldn’t argue with that. I wanted too……but I couldn’t.

I only had to bear a cross, not hang from one.

“Okay…I’m sorry, forgive me for being such an asshole” I said.

I held out my hand.

He took my hand and pulled me into a bear hug with a hard pat on the back.

I hugged him back, a little tentatively at first, and then I gave him a good hug.

“You are an asshole…..I have to admit that” Jesus said to me with that grin and look that always follows you around a room when you walk by one of his paintings.

“But that’s one of the reasons I dig you baby!” He said.

“Let’s go get a Starbucks” I offered.

“Starbucks is of the devil” Jesus said.

“I couldn’t agree more” I said.

“But,”… He added with a wink “I do love me a Peppermint Mocha”

“You have to put on some shoes, they won’t serve us if you ain’t got no shoe’s on” I said, looking at his feet.

Man those nail holes freak me out sometimes.

Jesus looked down at his feet, wiggled his toes and said “They won’t serve ugly people either, but I’m going with you.”

Funny…..I thought. A million comedians are out of work and I get this guy.

But not to be out-done, and feeling better about hanging out with my old buddy again, I couldn’t help it….

He was waiting for me to say something, he knew that I was an asshole….that much he had admitted to, but he also knew that I am a smart ass….

He knows me so well….

I hate that sometimes.

I said “At least I don’t look like a hippie…. you need a hair-cut”

He put his arm around my shoulder, grinned that grin and said in a deep mocking baritone voice;

“Walk with me”
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I looked at him….he looked at me.

Then we both bust out laughing.

He gave me a quick rabbit punch in the stomach, and shouted “Race ‘ya!”

He took off running towards the Starbucks, still barefoot.

I hollered “You run like a girl!”

Jesus flipped me the bird over his left shoulder, never breaking stride.

I smiled and took off after him.

He was holding the door open for me when I caught up to him, that grin again.

“Don’t say it” I panted.

In his terrible baritone voice he said “Knock and it shall be opened…’ he smiled bigger.

Some people’s kids I thought….“You first” I said with a deep courtly bow.

“Right behind you” he said.

Now I understand…..Now I get it….

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SO, When was the last time you had a conversation with Jesus? Well?
Author, Catherine Townsend-Lyon
Thanks Treyz for a Great Blog post to share!


I’m Pleased To Welcome Writer And Author “Rusty Blackwood”….

Welcome Friends And New Visitors,

I’m honored and excited to “Welcome Rusty Blackwood” as my guest author today! As a writer and author myself, I’m very inspired by her work. She is kind enough to let me share all she does with all of my readers as a Writer, Author, and Editor too. I have many wonderful readers in Canada, she is also a Canadian girl. So lets learn more about Rusty, as she gives us a peek into her “Literary Process” of her writing and authoring books. I have read some reviews of her books, and boy this woman knows about writing “Romance & Love” and great reads! So here is a wee bit more about my new friend “Rusty Blackwood”:

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Rusty Blackwood Biography;
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“I was born in St.Thomas, Ontario, Canada on October 5,1949 to Celtic heritage, and grew up on my paternal grandfather’s farm in the County of Elgin, located in the south-western part of the province of Ontario. I acquired my love of literature while still in elementary school where I entered my original compositions into county fairs, school contests, and whatever venue allowed participants in the writing field.”
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I have carried that love ever since, and have put it to use many times since becoming a serious writer in 2001. From the time of youth I have loved the Arts in their many unique forms, and am a graduate with honors in Interior Decorating & Design. I spent many years on the south-western Ontario stage performing with my family’s country music band: The Midnight Ramblers, followed by the country – rock – blues band: ‘MIRAGE’ as an accomplished vocalist, bassist, and rhythm guitarist. I now reside in the cultural city of St. Catharines, Ontario, and when not at my desk, enjoy art, music, nature, gardening, and spending quality time with family, friends, and my loving cat, Tipper. Please visit my official website at http://www.rusty-blackwood.com  as well as my official poetry site at: http://www.poetrypoem.com/rusty5 ….
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Now I have to tell you that her website “Is To Die For” and encourage you to go visit to see the most updated goings on about all her book releases, about her, and her journal. And I do have to confess, I have not read her latest book yet as I’ve been busy finishing my next 2 books, but I have her latest book, “Passions In Paris” on my Goodreads bookshelf now, and the “Buzz” I hear is it’s a fantastic read!
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Passions in Paris: Revelations of a Lost Diary

So here is a little about her new book,….

“Passions In Paris: Revelations Of A Lost Diary”
http://www.amazon.com/Passions-Paris-Revelations-Lost-Diary/dp/1482312697

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Paris, one the most romantic places in the world sets the scene for one of the best romance novels to come along in ages. A romance novel, filled with creative fiction, engrossed with passion, lust and lovers who cannot get enough of one another. In the tradition of Bram Stoker’s ‘Dracula‘ and ‘What Dreams May Come‘, the story spans lifetimes This is what awaits you within the pages of ‘Passions in Paris: Revelations Of A Lost Diary’, one of the best romance novels to come along in years. A writers dream, a reader’s paradise, it’s creative fiction executed fully. Paris, the bewitching City of Light sets the scene for this passionate romance novel, peppered with drama, intrigue, deception, adultery and jealousy alike, this fictional romance which centers on star-crossed lovers Joy Wychmere and Cullen Malone, is certain to touch your soul and leave you desiring more.
If a good book is your goal, you will not be disappointed with this exceptional romance novel by Rusty Blackwood. Buy this book at Createspace Buy this book at Amazon Buy this book at Barnes and Noble See more at: http://www.rusty-blackwood.com/books/#sthash.Wl4syrbN.dpuf
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Now one of the fun things I enjoy when I have a guest on my blog is, I give them “ONLY TWO” questions to answer as I’m no “James Lipton” from “Actors Studio”….LOL, but I ask my guests to answer the 2 questions as short or long as they feel comfortable with.
So here are the same 2 questions I ask of all my guests, and how “Rusty” answered hers.
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1.) How did it come to you to become a Writer, Author, and Editor?…

I’ve loved to write since childhood. I always enjoyed English class, both English Comp, and English Lit, but my greatest enjoyment came from English Composition. It was there I could let my imagination soar and take me to wonderful places where anything was possible. I can remember numerous requirements in class with regard to writing a short essay, full length compositions, critiquing one’s work, understanding the reason behind another writer’s choice, that sort of thing, whatever the teacher’s requirement in English was on any particular day, and I well remember my excitement entering whatever piece I’d written into county fair competitions, assorted literature gatherings, and trying my best to hold my own among the imaginative pieces awaiting the judge’s final word. So many talented young writers in my area, and I was just happy to be among them and have my work before those who not only loved to read, but whose teachings and critique meant so much in helping each of us to improve. It all helped to build a better basis for each written piece that was to follow.
As strange as it sounds, writing wasn’t what I set out to do as a career, therefore I was never professionally trained in the field, but because of my affinity for the subject, I developed a keen sense of manipulating written words where I could express my feelings in a much better way than expressing them verbally. I would write assorted short stories, compose poetry, keep a diary, that sort of thing, but in 2001 I decided to try my hand at writing a novel. This decision stayed with me over the course of ten years which resulted in the writing of the original two-part Passion in Paris.
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I self-published the first part, Passion in Paris: Connections to the Past in 2010, the second, Passion in Paris: Directions of the Heart in 2011, but I was never satisfied with the final product or the self publishing company that I had chosen to publish it,  so I terminated my contract and pulled my work. In 2012, after finding a new publishing outlet, I had the opportunity to totally redo the story in one book, which was the way I had originally intended it to be done in the first place. The finished novel, Passions in Paris: Revelations of a Lost Diary, which I am extremely proud of, was released  in the summer of 2013. With regard to publishing any of my work, I decided at the beginning to take the self publishing route because I wanted to maintain direction of my work, as well as the Rights to it, and not have to sign either away in order to obtain a publishing contract with a Standard House.
It’s a hard road; then again any road in this field can be difficult regardless of the route chosen because nothing is certain, you just have to believe in yourself, your ability, and be sure you research every aspect of it as well as you can. When it comes to editing, I do tend to feel one improves in this area with each written piece, and I have managed to acquire a fair understanding with regard to it, however I don’t consider myself an editor in any way. I do edit my work to a certain degree as I go, but I leave the main editing to the professionals.
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2.) What is the “Best Thing” you enjoy about being a Writer & Author?
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I love the challenge of a blank page, and letting my thoughts and imagination pull me into it. I very much love creating characters that I can mold and give life to, insert them into a world that I have created for them, and watch them flourish within it. It becomes entirely my own world where I’m in charge — most of the time that is — as characters often have a way of taking over and demanding their own way, their own words, and their own actions. This often directs a story down a far different road than you started out on. But it’s a great feeling to watch a story that has formed in your head come to life on a page that in turn becomes a complete book. As an author you hope it will bring enjoyment to the reader, hopefully as much as it brought you to write it.
I can only speak for myself and what best works for me, but I basically write for myself and my enjoyment. I think a lot of writers do, because without the enjoyment that it primarily provides, the first page would never get written….
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I surely can identify a lot of how Rusty feels about the actual Writing Process. Although, I have found when you write about what you know, what your passionate about, whether it is Fiction or Non-Fiction, it truly will show in your finished book or novel.
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I want to “Thank Rusty Blackwood” for all the wonderful insights into her literary world. I think it’s fabulous when “Authors and Writers” share and interact with their readers and fans. It’s really what it’s all about, and why we also chose to write. When we know our readers look forward to our hard work to bring them a little “Joy” in their “Me Time,” it makes us as writers feel good. Did I tell you she writes poetry as well? Hers are books by Rusty, and where you can connect with her.
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*I hope you’ll go by her website and as always, tell her “Author Catherine Lyon” sent you!*http://www.rusty-blackwood.com/ ~ Her book website
http://www.poetrypoem.com/rusty5#sthash.jnO3j9DZ.dpuf  ~ Her Poetry
http://www.twitter.com/rusty_blackwood ~ Twitter
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Rusty-Blackwood/192607652032 ~ FB Page https://www.goodreads.com/lovingwords ~ Goodreads
http://www.authors.com/profile/RustyBlackwood/ ~ Authors.com
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Passion in Paris: Directions of the Heart

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God Bless All,
Author Catherine Townsend-Lyon

A Fantastic In Your Face Tips & Advice For Writers! Meet Craig Stone…

Hello Friends and Welcome Newbies,
I happen to be breezing through some of the many blogs I follow for helpful “Writers” tips and advice. I came across a blog I had not visited for a while, and  I’ve been sort of a silent reader of his blog, and we happen to meet up again on Twitter. So I went to his blog link. He had a blog post up that just “Cracked Me Up” as some of the advice he gives I really could relate to. So I asked if he would mind if I reshare his post, he said OK, So meet “Craig Stone” and his WordPress blog called:  Thought Scratchings ..The bit your brain can’t itch, served in a packet of alternative pig shit. http://thoughtscratchings.com ….
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Now first I have to admit I’ a wee bit jealous of him as he has over 101,ooo Twitter Followers!! You can hook up with him on his Tweet @craigstone… I do also believe we met on our Social Media site About.me. His page is here: http://About.me/craig.stone if you haven’t been to About.me yet, you have NO IDEA what fun your missing by making your own free and creative page! Here is a “Wee Bit” more about ‘Craig,’ the thought scratching man…..LOL..
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“I left school at sixteen with a head full of rocks, a general dislike towards anyone telling me what to do and a belief none of it mattered: because one day I would write the greatest book in the world.

But life is a rusty chicken spinning on a broken church roof at times…

So I drifted into twenty-eight in the same position I had been when I was sixteen: Lost, and with a talent nobody knew about; a talent I was starting to see as more a curse than a gift because I still hadn’t penned anything worth reading.

I found a normal job, somewhere to live…and twenty-eight turned to thirty in the blink of a moment.

And that is when I had to make a decision.

I quit my job, left my flat and walked into a park with a sleeping bag and a pen. I thought that without the phone ringing, and without making coffees I would never drink for others, and the pointless excel spreadsheets, and the people sitting around being safe but living out failures – without all those things, if I just gave it all up, maybe I would make it.

Maybe I would write that book that’s been on my mind since school.

So I did. It really is that easy to change your life, you just walk away from the one you are making.”….
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Craig Stone picture
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You’ll have to go check out his About.Me Page to read the rest of his fascinating story! I was very “Inspired” myself when I read his whole story. As a writer, I could relate to the part of just giving everything up, walk away, and start a new. Here is the Re-blog & Share of his post I enjoyed so much!….
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*My Top Six Writing Tips*
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Marketing is now more important than content, sales are more important than authors, immediate profit is more important than sustaining the publishing industry long-term.

The material has become immaterial.

Most people are writing the same sort of stuff, falling into the same old trap, eating each other alive in the bucket of life to get out; like rats.

Here are some tips on how to emerge from the bucket and scurry into the jungle as the last rat breathing; a rat with a dream, a passion, and a story everybody will want to read about your escape…

1. IGNORE ALL ADVICE, ESPECIALLY ALL THIS ADVICE|
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Everybody is an expert, but the truth is, nobody is.

Not even the experts are experts.

The expert people behind the scenes in publishing companies are just people who have read books, like you and I.

Experience has made them an expert, but too much experience eventually turns people blind.

All YOU can do is focus on the content of YOUR book, and be brave about it.

Don’t look to other writers to see what they’re doing to learn how to do what you want to do, because the truth is the writers you look to for advice previously looked to other writers to see what they were doing, and those writers who came before the writers you are looking to for advice, looked to learn from other writers who wrote before them to learn about what they should be doing and, finally, the last writer referenced, who was also the first writer to write anything down didn’t have a single fucking clue what he/she was doing.

Everybody is copying everybody else believing somebody must know what they are doing.

Remember: nobody does.

There are no experts; start with that in mind, and one day you might just become an expert.

2. JOIN TWITTER
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Twitter is the place writers go to fuck the shit out of other like-minded brains, so if you are thinking of writing a book, it’s a great place to begin.

Others say Twitter is the place writers go to die.

Actually, nobody has said that, I’ve just made it up, but there is some truth to it.

However if you are already dead, or not alive yet, than you have nothing to lose; and if you can write a book, then you can sure as hell write something interesting in 140 characters.

3. STOP CALLING YOURSELF AN ASPIRING AUTHOR!
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You either are or you’re not, you either can or you can’t, you either will do or you won’t.

Either we are all aspiring authors, and I include every single person who has ever picked up a pen in the history of man, or none of us are.

There are writers on Twitter claiming to be best-selling authors because one of their books about a cowboy falling in love with his own waxed chest has somehow made it to #357,095 in the Amazon charts.

These books are a silver bullet shot into the heel of a werewolf formerly known as Achilles.

IF the people writing these books are not calling themselves aspiring, then guess what?

Nobody is aspiring.

MAKE NOTE: Aspiring is dead.

The meaning of the word has been changed by Kindle; don’t sell yourself short before you begin.

And besides, just because you are starting out, does not make you an aspiring anything; some authors who have forty books behind them might disagree, but I like to think that in ten years time some kid will come along and write something better than I ever did, because he is naturally more gifted than I ever was.

In fact, if that doesn’t happen, I’ll be extremely sad.

Our duty, your duty as an author, is to push the boundaries of where we can take literature, to try to push where we can take the human imagination; and if you don’t believe that is possible, then why get into writing in the first place?

The less time you spend aspiring, the sooner your steps to changing the world begin.

Begin a dreamer, and never stop dreaming, and do not confuse dreaming with aspiring.

*T H I N K B I G*
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Unless you are sitting at the keyboard almost typing, fingers hovering perpetually above the keys, unless you are sitting with a pen and almost putting it to paper, then you are writing.

So, please, no more aspiring.

4. BACK TALENT WITH ARROGANCE
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People might not get how you write, people might tell you that you should write more like them, people might turn their nose up at your words, people might tell you they think your book is confusing, people might say they wish it was more romantic, or had more action in, or was funnier, or was a little bit darker, or had a mermaid robot in called Daisy who got erections at funerals – BUT remember:

If you change what you write to meet the expectation of your readers then you immediately negate yourself to the status of being completely irrelevant.

You become, essentially, a newspaper. Not full of stories, just full of bollocks and spin put in to appease what your readers expect to read.

I’m not saying arrogance as in the type of arrogance where you immediately go out and buy a gold car with tinted windows and insist your mum drives you around, and you sit in the back seat with a prostitute taking cocaine and talking about yourself whilst your wife is at home telling the children Daddy will be back from the shops any minute.

I am not talking about that kind of arrogance.

I am talking about having a confidence, about having a swagger in your words.

Write the stories YOU want to write.

Write the stories that make YOU laugh.

Write the stories that YOU want to hear.

Write for yourself, fuck everybody else.

Don’t live for the crowd, don’t live for the reviews, don’t write your words down for a pat on the back, write them down because if you don’t you get depressed and angry and sad, and know that means you are a writer.

Don’t back down, don’t change your vantage point, stand your ground and argue your point.

Draw your line in the sand, because your book is about you, your book is not about anyone else.

And to do that, takes arrogance.

When the dust has settled, when your line is drawn in the sand, how many books you have sold won’t matter, because you will know you wrote your own way and for yourself.

In a world full of zombies and vampires and cowboys rolling around in the hay, by not following conventional methods you give yourself the best chance of standing out from the crowd.

The only chance, in fact.

5. WRITING WHAT YOU KNOW IS WRITING WHAT YOU DON’T KNOW
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Nobody can write what they don’t know.

Everything you will ever write is something you know; so start thanking the stars we all know different things.

Writer A does not have a vivid imagination, and so might truly know contemporary fiction; the here and now, real life punching you in the gut and pulling your eyeballs over your head, to show them to your friends.

You, on the other hand, might just know about dragons, or you might know about talking water that has the power to convince all penguins they are better off living in apartment blocks and working for the council as dustmen.

Knowledge is not just what other people tell you it is, knowledge is not just what we think in the moment we think it, knowledge is the image we see in our heads, knowledge is our imagination, knowledge is the pictures we see and the dreams we have.

Knowledge is all we know, and all we know that we don’t know yet.

So write what you know, but remember you don’t know at this point all you will know…because when you write, you will teach yourself a million things about you that you never knew you knew, that are waiting to be known that you know.

Writing what you know is also writing what you don’t know, because writing what you don’t know doesn’t exist.

So, that’s that sorted.

6. EDIT
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If God created the world in six days and rested on the seventh, I know why the world is so fucked. He left no time for an edit.

A great writer, who is an average editor, will write an average book.

An average writer, who is a brilliant editor, will write a brilliant book.

People prefer brilliant books to average books.

It’s that simple.

Write your book.

Then read it again and edit it.

Then edit it again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

I know if you’re a bit younger, editing sounds like the boring bit. And also, if you have that arrogance which ultimately all writers have (whether they admit it or not) then you’re going to think you are so great you don’t need to check your work.

You are wrong.

The edit is the fun part.

The edit is the cherry on the cake, the wanky bit of duck sauce next to the prawn Vol-au-vents, the money shot; the bit in dirty dancing when Swayze lifts the girl above his head.

Come at writing from the back, implant in your head now that the end of your book is actually the beginning of it, and when you finally come out the end you won’t be too far off.

Now IGNORE ALL OF THIS and go and write YOUR book, YOUR way.
And remember to repeat this mantra when nobody understands what you do…
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writeradvice
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And there you have it! Craig has some pretty in your FACE writing advice and tips for all Writers, Authors, and Bloggers too! One of the best advice I was given when I found my “Passion” for writing through my 7 year Recovery was, “Write What YOU Know”! I was happy to see that Craig said the same. It takes BALLS to just walk away from your LIFE and start over, to make it WHAT WE WANT, not what Others, or what Society thinks our life should be. I’ve always believed that we ALL have a STORY to tell inside us. As the paper says above, I AM A WRITER!!
I want to THANK Craig for letting me share him with all of you, and I wish him Happiness” & Success” in his own Journey. A couple places besides his blog to hook-up with Craig are here:
www.linkedin.com/pub/craig-stone/49/ab6/1a2  LINKEDIN

http://craigstone.carbonmade.com CARBON MADE.COM
http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/6936768.Craig_stone  GOODREADS
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Author, Catherine Townsend-Lyon
*HAPPY WRITING*

My Special Guest Post~”Bipolar Valentine”~By “Nectar Madness”~Part 3….

Hello Recovery Friends, Seekers, and Welcome New Visitors,
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For those of you who have read my new friend “Nectar Madness” at http://nectarmadness.com   3 part series of “Bipolar Valentine,” here on my blog, I wanted to share part 3 of her series about life with Bipolar. It is a wonderful and thought-provoking series for those of us who suffer, and for those who want a little insight into how we face daily living challenges, and the *Stigma* we face,…..A LOT.
She has written it in a kind of sexy way. Lets face it, just because we may have mental or emotional disorders, we are still “Human Beings” who have feeling, and we deserve LOVE TOO!
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Part 3 really seemed to fit and hit home for me. My husband and I have been together for 26 1/2 years, and this September 29th we will “CELEBRATE” our 25th wedding anniversary!! And OMG have we been through a lot. We have learned with me having undiagnosed Bipolar, with manic depression, Panic with Agoraphobia, OCD, and AADD, it has at times put a strain on our marriage. Not to mention my what I put him through with my Compulsive Gambling Addiction that I’ve been in recovery as well for 7 years.
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But through all those “Trials & Tribulations,” we have loved each other even Harder, and learned that “TOGETHER” we can weather ANY STORM!! Yes, I know I’m a very Blessed Woman to have found such a MAN!!! I tell him that EVERYDAY!…..So here is part 3:
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Bipolar Valentine Part 3: In Sickness and Health, Mania and Depression….

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I love you. I hate you. I want you. Don’t touch me. Marriage and bipolar. Is it a toxic combination? According to NAMI, statistically 90% of marriages with at least one bipolar spouse will end in divorce. That is a sobering number. You can’t deny that it’s a bit discouraging to those not yet married, and scary for those of us who are. So before we go any further, let’s ask- is there even a point? Absolutely.
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It is possible for people with bipolar disorder to endure successful long-term romantic relationships, and even marriage. There are many factors involved because every individual and every relationship is different. What works for one couple may not work for another, and vice versa.
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Factors to consider:
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One factor to consider is the time of diagnosis. While the symptoms are usually present for a period of time, we all know getting that official diagnosis makes a difference. It provides an answer and treatment options, as well as a name for what is going on. (I don’t like the term “label”). For several couples, the diagnosis comes years into their marriage. They receive the news together and unless they’ve already suspected BP, it is brand new information. What usually happens in these cases is a sense of relief, followed by frustration, and a new sense of responsibility. Changes must be made in the everyday routine.
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Other couples have it a little bit differently when the person was diagnosed prior to their union. In this instance, the non-bipolar partner entered the relationship knowing something was unique about it. In my last segment, Bipolar Valentine Part 2: Adventures in Dating, I discussed how to tell your new partner about your BP diagnosis, and about my own experience with my wife. Both types of couples face challenges.
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“Following a diagnosis, the first and most dominant response from a spouse usually is sympathy, says David A. Karp, professor of sociology at Boston College and author of The Burden of Sympathy: How Families Cope with Mental Illness (Oxford University Press, 2002). “But further down the road, a spouse may experience emotions they don’t think they should be having—anger, frustration, and even hate.”
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Indeed, caring for someone who has a mental illness can be more draining than caring for someone with cancer, says Dr. Karp. When a spouse does something for a mate with a physical illness, they are usually met with gratitude. People who have bipolar disorder, however, often deny the diagnosis, are unwilling to comply with medication, and—worst of all— treat one’s spouse like the enemy.”
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Another factor to consider is if there are any children in the picture. Since bipolar disorder has ups and downs that can be unpredictable or inconsistent, it is especially vital to double up the top priorities to both the bipolar spouse’s needs as well as the children’s needs. Kids should never feel like the mood swings are their fault. And in reality, sometimes the hustle and bustle around the house is what triggers an episode. It is important to have a strong partnership with your spouse when you are not functioning at your best so the kiddos will have stability.
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How can we make it for the long haul?
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I give my wife a splintering headache every single time I go hypomanic or full-blown manic. I lie about my meds. I drink. I stay out all night. I argue with her. I hate sleep. I become very self-involved. And I no doubt make her feel like shit. When I get depressed, she can’t get me out of bed. I ignore my responsibilities and don’t even care. I know she knows when my patterns will start. I know she goes through hell. But…we make it. We get through it and carry on. Have we come close to ending it all? Oh hell yeah we have. But chose to work really hard instead. Here are a few tips that really work.
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“I swear by education. Read about bipolar disorder and have your spouse do the same.” One book I recommend is Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder, by Julie Fast.
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Finding the right doctor, usually a psychiatrist, is imperative. Make sure your partner joins you so he/she can become acquainted with your doctor in case of any future emergencies. A good doctor is someone who listens to you, addresses your concerns, and explains the recommended course of treatment. Both of you having a good relationship with your doctor is important for your relationship with your spouse.
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Other factors in your treatment include the right med cocktail, and any support groups you join. It is mandatory to get your partner on board with all of it. This is one thing that has held my marriage together these last 7 years. My wife is my medication manager and during my rough times, she sorts and distributes it for me. Even when I’m able to administer it to myself, she is my daily reminder of when I’m supposed to take it. Without her, I know I’d forget or choose to not take my pills. Without the pills, I’d be a hot freaking mess! She also encourages me to attend my bi-weekly support group.
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One of the absolute most important things in a bipolar marriage is having rules. Yes, rules suck. But in this case, rules are the glue holding the package together. Establish grounds for when to call the doctor, to disclose suicidal thoughts, to have your partner notify you of red flags, when to go to the hospital, to communicate your triggers, and a commonly broken rule- to always take your medication! In my house, my wife has given me the medication ultimatum that if I refuse to take it, she will pack up herself and our son, and go stay somewhere else. That thought kills me. So I stay motivated to comply.
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My last biggie is communication. More specifically, speaking the language of bipolar. Make it clear what “highs” and “lows” are and what things you might verbalize differently in each of these states. This way there is no cause for alarm if you are transitioning moods.
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Enough of the technical stuff, where’s the love?
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I can’t say this enough do not make your bipolar the center of your relationship! For any marriage, with or without mental illness, it is important to nurture the relationship in order for it to grow. It’s just like any living thing. If you stop feeding it, it wilts and dies. The bipolar is just a part of it. Your relationship consists of many other parts. Give these a try!
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Re-examine your core values and what brought you two together in the first place.
Carve out some time in your busy lives for a date night.
Have passionate sex.
Laugh together.
Go on a road trip.
Renew your vows
Say “I love you” often.
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If you haven’t already, check out the first two parts of this series, Bipolar Valentine Part 1: Is It Love or Just Bipolar?  and Bipolar Valentine Part 2: Adventures in Dating.
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*I want to Thank “Nectar Madness” for letting me share all 3 parts with my readers. So for those of you who have Bipolar, I feel it really is important to have “Family & Spouse Support”! It truly makes a difference. I say this because my hubby and I experienced a loss of his older sister to “intentional prescription overdose/Suicide” because she didn’t have the support of her husband. He didn’t believe in, or want her to take “Bipolar Meds” to help her. He never was a very supportive husband to her for years, and last year she took all her Bipolar meds at once and passed of an intentional overdose. I don’t mean to share something so extreme, but it really makes a BIG difference to the person, like myself who suffer, for people not to treat US like were NOT NORMAL….
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God Bless All,
Author, Catherine Townsend-Lyon

“Do You Love Music? Then Meet My New Friends At StutterHouse”!

Hello Friends And Welcome New Visitors!

I happen to be my Twitter, when I happen to come across a new tweet pal that is “All About The Music”! I have a wonderful following on my Recovery and Author Twitter accounts here,
http://www.twitter.com/LUV_Recovery  @LUV_Recovery  and http://www.twitter.com/kitcatlyon  @kitcatlyon Of course I’m going to ask you to Follow!

And a Tweet caught my eye from these guys! PLEASE Meet “StutterHouse” a UK based record label. But, their website is really “Fantastic” and filled with loads of Great Music! Here is a little about them, and their Founder and their Team, as you’re in for an “Awesome Musical Treat”!
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ABOUT US:

Stutterhouse is a UK–based record label founded by producer Kevin “Def” Umebolu . The label is known for discovering and developing new acts like Conscious T, SuCity Entertainment and Lanrenchi, as well as music publishing and distribution.

To  know more about our producers, please read below:

Home
http://Stutterhouse.com/

Kevin “Def” Umebolu

Music Production/Distribution

Fav: NI Maschine, Logic Studio

“The Old Grey Whistle Test”

Def
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Catchy riffs, lush harmonies and experimental drums, define the creative style of Def. He is known for having a profound way of manipulating notes, that leaves the mind of it’s audience wondering in space. Having been involved in music production since the late 90’s, he has been responsible for various artists. His style of music can be summarized as “Experimental mainstream sound”.

Def’s musical inspiration originates from influences such as Stevie Wonder, Michael Jackson and Diana Ross to name a few. His style of production is energetic, lively and “soulful”.

He has worked with up-coming acts such as Stain, Steven Licker, Stone, D-law and many others. In 2005, he teamed up with Stain and Steven Licker to form the group ‘Solo Tunes’(now So-Jamz) and produced the album, ‘Sounds Of Survival’…
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Taaya “Conscious T” Shangula Music Producer, Song Writer, Artist

Fav: Reason, Logic Studio

Conscious T
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Conscious T. has always been in awe of artists who shed a light on what goes on in the world like Bob Marley, Marvin Gaye, and Tupac Shakur etc. His alias “Conscious T” represents his awareness towards world affairs, the past inclusive and his ambitions to help shape the future through music.

His production style can be very eclectic from slow beat hip-hop to more up-tempo urban music. Conscious T is a self-taught lyricist with lyrics that can be edgy and inspirational without being vulgar.

He hopes to bring people together through music and change the views of what urban culture is and what it can be.

Watch Conscious T in the studio, producing “Cloud 9”!!…
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  stutterhouse Green.                                                                                                                                                                                                                  
What’s cool also about the website is that you can listen to various “Artists & Styles” of music they produce. They use and go through Spotify.com which you can login using your Facebook acct. They have features like a bumping “Playlist,” and I loved, “Plastic Ville” and my 2 favorite songs on there are, “Welcome to La La Land” & “Lets get Naughty”!
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You will find a fly “Community” tab with inter-active threads you can join in on too! So please go give these guys a Look and Listen, as your be very pleasantly surprised at ALL THE TALENT. Better yet!, login through your Facebook into SPOTIFY and give all the Music a listen. YOU won’t be disappointed. And I’ll tell you right now, your BODY won’t stop moving to the Beats!
You can find them also on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/stutterhouse  @stutterhouse
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/Stutterhouse
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AS ALWAYS, Let the guys at StutterHouse know that you I sent you!
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GOD BLESS FRIENDS,
AUTHOR, CATHERINE TOWNSEND-LYON

Just Sharing An Author, Fantasy Writer, And A Wonderful Friend You Should Know….

Hello and Welcome Readers and New Friends, 

I meet some wonderful authors and writers along my literary journey, but when they are “Truly Exceptional” I enjoy showcasing their work on my Writers Blog here. And that’s how I feel about my new friend and writer, “Janalyn Voigt”…This woman is so busy, but she also finds time to help others with their own writing with helpful advice, tips, and more on her websites. Now I will confess, she actually invited me to be a part of her “Blog Tour,” but since I didn’t do very well on my last tour hosting job, I was a little intimidated to try it again. Janalyn was gracious enough though to let me “share” some of what she does, a little about herself, and showcase the excellent writer that she is. To that, I say Thank You because I know she will help my literary friends with some sound advice.So here is a wee bit more about Janalyn from her websites:
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Janalyn Voigt: 


Escape into creative worlds of fiction
Author Site  Live Write Breathe   Novel Books

“Click on her many websites above and give them a Visit”…

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Janalyn Irene Voigt
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Janalyn Voigt:
credits her father with instilling a love of literature in her at an early age by reading chapters from The Wizard of Oz, Robinson Crusoe and other classics as bedtime stories. When she grew older, Janalyn created her own stories. When she was 12 a teacher noticed her storytelling ability, and his encouragement helped Janalyn identify her desire to write novels. On her own initiative, she read dictionaries, grammar books, and encyclopedias to expand her knowledge base and to learn story structures and the elements of the writing. As an adult she completed more formal training with Christian Writers Guild.

Sarah Joy Freese of Wordserve Literary represents Janalyn. DawnSinger, her debut novel and first in the Tales of Faeraven epic fantasy series, released with Harbourlight Books in 2012. Other projects include a western historical romance series. Janalyn serves as a judge for several national literary contests and is an active book reviewer. Her nonfiction publication credits include Focus on the Family, Scripture Press (now David C. Cook) and Pentecostal Evangel.

Janalyn is available as an inspirational and practical speaker to church, women’s, and writer’s groups. Her affiliations include American Christian Fiction Writers (ACFW) and Northwest Christian Fiction Writers (NCWA).

In her spare time Janalyn reads, gardens, and finds adventures with her family in the great outdoors. She dreams of owning a horse, exploring all the national parks, and visiting European castles.

To learn more about Janalyn and her upcoming books, visit the author website for Janalyn Voigt.

*Here are just a couple of her books available on Amazon & a Review*!
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This review is from: Dawnsinger (Paperback)

A story that is a must read! I could hardly put it down, it was compelling and kept me guessing with a nice twist in the end. I found myself holding my breath during times and my eyes on the brink of tears, too. I love the characters that Janalyn Voigt has introduced to me. Within hours I was already reading the next book in this series…Wayfarer….5 STAR Review!
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This review is from: WayFarer (Tales of Faeraven) (Kindle Edition)
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“Princes and princesses in love with the wrong ones, or not in love with chosen mates, pretenders for thrones attacking, defenders facing defeat, intense loyalty, betrayal, love, hatred, faith and fears, marriage and death, life in strange and beautifully described lands, winged horses, giant bears, dangerous birds, witches who turn travelers instantly into ice, friends and foes. The story has a bit of everything to keep readers hoping for victories for favorite characters and defeat for nasty ones, but unsure who will win. Wayfarer, a well-told, compelling tale is Book two in the Faeraven series. The events and characters follow on from Book one, the Dawnsinger fantasy, but Wayfarer can also be enjoyed as a stand-alone novel. The author’s descriptions, even with strange names for almost everything, depict a strong admiration for nature and bring settings and characters wonderfully alive. Wayfarer depicts the consequences of wrong choices but the forgiveness, mercy and grace of God to a young King IF he will accept the truth about who can save him”… A 5 STAR Review!
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Please “click” on her “Author Site” above to see all her published works, and see what is up and coming too!

Another *Fabulous* website she has is called, “Novel Books” at: http://novelbooks.org  where she has a Book store, Posts Reviews, Featured Authors, and More! I highly recommend you visit for some fresh new reads, and check out her 2014 Reading list. Here is a little of what she does there on her site:
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Janalyn Voigt, author and literary judge
Janalyn Voigt, author and literary judge

“Let an author, book reviewer, literary contest judge and avid reader recommend wholesome and novel books for your home library. You’ll find my picks throughout the site. Check out the author showcases, book reviews, book trailers and reader polls. To learn more about me, click my image to visit my author website.”
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Escape into the Creative Worlds Monthly Newsletter

Click to subscribe and receive as a bonus 3 of Janalyn’s original images to use as computer wallpaper.
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Janalyn was nice enough to answer my “Two Favorite Questions” I ask of all my Spotlight Guests,”….
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1. Why did you become a Writer? “As children, my older brother and I would beg my father for bedtime stories, and he would give them.  His deep voice rumbled against my ear at his chest as he unfolded stories of exotic places like Oz and Neverland. My imagination carried on with the tales even after he closed the book for the night. When eventually he stopped reading stories, I began creating my own.
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Within a few years I’d become storyteller of my neighborhood. The other children would gather in a circle on our lawn while I invented stories to entertain them. No one, including myself, thought of this as anything unusual. It wasn’t until my sixth-grade teacher pointed out my ability to spin a tale that I and my parents took note. This is how at the age of twelve I decided to become a novelist. As it turns out, the fulfillment of that dream took a few more years than planned. 
There were disappointments and successes along the way and lessons to be learned. In the end, it became a matter of stepping up to what I should be doing. I’ve written in more detail about my journey as a novelist at my author site.”

2. What do you enjoy most about being a Published Author?

“Holding my books in my hands ranks high on the list, second only to emails from those who have read and enjoyed my books.”
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I want to Thank “Janayln Voigt” for the opportunity of sharing her wonderful writing, books, and websites with all of my friends and readers here! I know many of you will visit and explore all her sites, and grab a copy of her books too! She really is an extraordinary woman with so much talent. I wish you all the “Best” in your own writing journey….
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God Bless Friends,
Author, Catherine Townsend-Lyon