*WISHING YOU ALL A VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR* ~ *ONE LUV=UNITY*

**HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE~AND MANY BLESSINGS**
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*A NEW YEAR MEANS NEW BEGINNINGS IN LIFE & RECOVERY*
*MY NEW YEARS TO ADDICTS MESSAGE*
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My New Year message is to share a meaningful, positive piece of “Advice.” Many of you know that I live my “Life” in recovery from Addicted Compulsive Gambling and a wee bit too much Alcohol. I just want to say to anyone who happens to wander here to this blog, and your are, or want to have a *Beautiful Life in Recovery*…..it is and can be DONE! Please visit my Recovery blog, which is also on WordPress at: http://CatherineLyonAddictedToDimes.wordpress.com you will find an excellent “Recovery Resources Pages List” with ALL kinds of recovery help and information to get you started on your *Journey of Recovery.
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Addiction is addiction no matter the type. Many of the habits and behaviors are the same. The diseased thinking, having triggers and urges, we use blame, denial, excuses. Relapse’s are the same because no MATTER THE DEMON, drugs, gambling, porn, food, sex, booze, “IT’s All About getting stuck, and sucked in by “THE CYCLE” of the addiction.
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There is a lot of *Truth* in the saying, “You keep doing the same thing over and over and over again, EXPECTING a different out come, and it NEVER COMES, it NEVER HAPPENS, it’s the same old “SHIT” time after time.
AREN’T YOU TIRED of feeling sick and tired all time? Those feelings like your all alone in your addiction? As if NO ONE KNOWS how you feel? No ONE understands you? Those crappy, dark, feelings of “HOPELESSNESS”?
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TRUST ME, I sure DO! My gambling addiction had me SO OVER THE  EDGE TWICE, that I tried SUICIDE ~ TWICE, that’s how low my life was. How low, dark, and hopeless I felt.
Yes, it will take hard work to attain and stay in recovery, but I can “HONESTLY” tell you it “TRULY” is worth it! YOU are worth a better LIFE! I got tired of chasing something that was never going to be the SAME. I think drug addicts can relate best to this. All your “HIGHS” have NEVER been the same as the First Right? If your honest about it, then you know I’m being HONEST with you.
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Most who know me,  know that I won’t or Don’t “Sugar Coat” Addiction & Recovery.
Sometimes “Tough Honesty” can save a “LIFE”……
So go ahead, contemplate what I’m telling all you addicts, its New Years Eve. Go ahead, take that “FIRST STEP,” and make a “Resolution Tonight,” it’s a better time than any to CHOOSE LIFE.
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So instead of screwing the cap off that bottle of Booze, or cracking open that BEER, or smoking that next joint, or poking that NEEDLE in your Arm, or for you addicted gamblers, before you stuff that Poker or Slot machine with more $20’s, or before you sit down to that Poker, or Blackjack table, think about how it would actually feel to walk through all the FEAR you have, to learn WHY you need to USE ADDICTION to hide from old wounds that just won’t stop nagging you?
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Just think about living a LIFE FREE from YOUR ADDICTION? Each and every one of us was given a gift.
A GIFT OF CHOICE…..YES, it’s about the choice’s we make. And many times our “OLD PAINS & HURTS” can really turn us upside down. YOU and millions have been given a GIFT from “A Power Greater Then Ourselves”……

A High Power who will be their for you each step of your Recovery Journey, just like he was their With and For me when I took that “FIRST STEP” of a BETTER & BEAUTIFUL LIFE”………..
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AND TRUST ME, where I had to LIFT myself up from was not PRETTY. I was laying in an Addiction/Mental Hold and Crisis Center, via the hospital FOR THE 2nd TIME.
When I was released, I had many court dates from POOR CHOICES, “Criminal Charges” of theft and forgery.
No friends, No Family, even my husband left for a few weeks, because he had ENOUGH. Then jail, probation, and HOURS of community service, OH YEAH, and $$ Restitution!
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That’s all I ever got from Addiction. Lost jobs, house, car, money, time I’ll never get back, and it almost COST ME MY LIFE!
So on Jan 29th, 2007 on my Court Sentencing Day, I TOOK MY LIFE BACK!! The rest was all De-Vine INTERVENTION. NO, you don’t have to be Religious, Be Saved, or even be a Christian to reach out for “Recovery,” and to live a beautiful life in recovery, BUT,…….I Wouldn’t recommend It.
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Just think of a being, a “Strong Higher Being” in your Life to guide you as you take that 1st very important step in your life into *RECOVERY*
Since I have, I have been blessed in so many ways, there are too many to count. The most exciting and rewarding was becoming a *First Time Published Author* ~ AT 50 years old!! It’s Never To Late to make “DREAMS COME TRUE” in Recovery!
And, this past year has been the best EVER! Meeting so many recovery friends and family who have supported me with my book and my recovery! Many new friends through Social Media, Recovery websites, and more!
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I’ve been some what successful as a writer, blogger, and mentor to others who were also STUCK on that “DAMN CYCLE of ADDICTION”!! I have faith in YOU that a year from now in recovery you will NOT BE the same. So why not try something different?
Yes, it will be tough, but it’s better than chasing that drunk, that high, or that big JACKPOT that never comes, and I know that you have the “Courage and the Balls” to JUST DO IT!
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SO THIS IS MY NEW YEARS WISH FOR YOU!
So if Gambling is the monkey on your back? Then come visit my Recovery Blogs Resources Pages, which has many options for FREE Recovery help, websites listed, and important information to get you started in the RIGHT DIRECTION!
http://CatherineLyonAddictedToDimes.wordpress.com Here are a few other Websites and information that my help as well:
http://myaddiction.com
www.aa.org ~ Alcohol
www.na.org  ~ NA Drugs

http://gamblersanonymous.org ~ Gambling
www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org 

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline Phone Number 1-800-273-8255
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*MOST OF THESE HELP WEBSITES HAVE TOLL FREE PHONE NUMBERS YOU CAN CALL AND TALK TO SOMEONE “RIGHT NOW”…..
Many also have On-Line Meetings, 24/7 Chat-rooms, All CONFIDENTIAL, and other helpful Resources to get you pointed to a NEW LIFE IN RECOVERY TONIGHT!*
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“Just make the call, or go look at the website”
“AS OF RIGHT NOW?
YOU ARE NO LONGER ALONE! I CARE!”….
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GOD BLESS EVERYONE, AND HAPPY NEW YEAR! *Author, Catherine Townsend-Lyon*


“Come Support Me And We Can Share Understanding”

Hello Recovery Friends and Welcome New Visitors;

It’s almost a New Year! So I hope you will join me in continuing to share “Hope” with others who suffer from mental illness & disorders, and those in recovery from addiction!
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I’m sharing my new “New Donation Website” to ask for your financial support & donations.
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As a Writer who suffers from many “Mental & Emotional Disorders,” and the many medications I take prevent me from being able to hold steady employment due to the side affects of the medications, and my symptoms. I also have ”Adult Attention deficit disorder and OCD.
After having a professional career in “Banking” for 20+ years, and then be told by an employer your to slow, you don’t pay attention or take direction enough, and not good enough,  only to be let go from a job, is very hard and difficult to take. Lets not let this happen to someone else. Lets share “Awareness” to the public about these disorders and illness’s.

Many also know I live life in Recovery as well for 7 years. So I became a Writer, Blogger, and Advocate, to help break through this “STIGMA” for myself and most importantly for others! Of course it doesn’t pay the bills,…lol, but it makes the heart feel good to help others! It is now my life mission to help others who suffer from Mental and Emotional illness, and those in Recovery.

I “Advocate” and give a “Voice” on these issues, because many who suffer don’t have a voice. They suffer in “Silence” because of the *Stigma* wrapped around these issues! So when you “Donate Today,”  you are doing more than supporting ME financially, you’re giving those who suffer in “SILENCE” a Voice!….
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Help a Writer, Advocate & Friend Catherine F Lyon
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https://www.wepay.com/donations/please-donate-to-help-a-writer-with-bipolar-disorder .

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My Donation Information At WePay…..

“I Need Your Support. Please Donate Today to support my message as a writer in recovery, and suffers from mental illness. I “Advocate to Shatter STIGMA” around people with mental & emotional illness and disorders, and for those who live life in recovery from addiction. I share & educate the public through my book “Addicted To Dimes,” and through both my Recovery & New Writer/Author Blogs here to give some understanding to others who are not “Touched” by Mental Illness….
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*MY MENTAL DISORDERS ARE*;
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1.) Panic disorder with agoraphobia is an anxiety disorder in which a person has attacks of intense fear and anxiety. There is also a fear of being in places where it is hard to escape, or where help might not be available.

Agoraphobia usually involves fear of crowds, bridges, or of being outside alone.

This article discusses panic disorder with agoraphobia. For information on panic disorder itself, see also: Panic disorder

Causes, incidence, and risk factors

The exact causes of panic disorder and agoraphobia are unknown. Because panic attacks often occur in areas or situations where they have happened in the past, panic may be a learned behavior. Agoraphobia sometimes occurs when a person has had a panic attack and begins to fear situations that might lead to another panic attack.

Anyone can develop a panic disorder, but it usually starts around age 25. Panic disorder is more common in women than men. .

2.) Bipolar Disorder is considered a mental disorder and it is one of the most common affective disorders. Bipolar Disorder is distinguished by episodes that may  be associated with depression, mania, hypo manic or mixed behavior.

Bipolar Causes

Bipolar is a terrible disease that is caused from period of serious depression. If you carry any Bipolar signs, please consult with a doctor to seek Bipolar Treatment and Bipolar Medicine.

Depression Symptoms

Depression symptoms include fatigue and much more. The severity of symptoms of depression varies among people. Read more about depression symptoms and understand that depression treatment is available for anyone depressed and suffering from depression symptoms also run High Risks of Suicide…
.Obsessive-compulsive disorder:
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3.) A psychiatric  disorder characterized by obsessive thoughts and compulsive actions, such as cleaning, checking, counting, or hoarding. Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), one of the anxiety disorders, is a potentially disabling condition that can persist throughout a person’s life. The individual who suffers from OCD becomes trapped in a pattern of repetitive thoughts and behaviors that are senseless and distressing but extremely difficult to overcome. OCD occurs in a spectrum from mild to severe, but if severe and left untreated, can destroy a person’s capacity to function at work, at school, or even in the home.
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ADHD in Adults

4.) Adults with ADHD may have difficulty following directions, remembering information, concentrating, organizing tasks, or completing work within time limits. If these difficulties are not managed appropriately, they can cause associated behavioral, emotional, social, vocational, and academic problems. .


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*So lets help keep the information flowing to help others who suffer. YOU never know, we might just SAVE LIVES! Lets Not Let those afflicted suffer in “Silence” any longer. . “DONATE TODAY”… 
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https://www.wepay.com/donations/please-donate-to-help-a-writer-with-bipolar-disorder
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GOD BLESS ALL!,
Author Catherine Townsend-Lyon10 Likes!

Congratulations on getting 10 total likes on Just A Recovery Author Learning To Be A Better Writer
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*Thanks Everyone For Helping Me Reach My First WordPress Milestone Here On My New Writers Blog*!


Putting The “Duck Dynasty” Story To Bed…..

Welcome Friends and Visitors,

It seems as though A&E has reinstated our “Duck Commander ~ Phil Robertson” back to the Big Show! As you all know by my blog posts, I was supporting Phil and his family in any way I could. If we can please for a moment take out all the “Religious, Gay, Slander, and Hate” from this story, and focus on the point of all of us here in “America” having the right to “Freedom of Speech,” Opinions and Thoughts. The rest of it all, started by A&E, GQ, GLAAD, The News & Media outlets, and many more have blown this story way out of proportion. We as Americans should have the right to speak about ANY topic we believe fit.

So I wanted to “Share” with you some of the Stories, Headlines, and Emails from support groups I have been involved with, and emails sent to me to prove my point. Then I will be *HAPPY* to put this story to bed, and move on to more important issues. Here We GO!……
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“Alan Robertson praised the decision by the network to allow his father to return to the show.”

Phil Robertson Duck Dynasty 1 - H 2013

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‘Duck Dynasty’: Phil Robertson’s Son Says Fan Support Has ‘Emboldened Us Greatly’…..
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“We Did It!
A&E Reinstates Phil Robertson to Duck Dynasty”
Chris Stone, Founder http://ISTANDWITHPHIL.COM
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Dear Author Catherine,

Together, we did it!

In response to the massive outpouring of support from hundreds of thousands of Faith Driven Consumers just like you, A&E Network announced hours ago that it is reinstating Phil Robertson to the helm of Duck Dynasty.
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You made this happen, and we are so very thankful for your tireless efforts!
But, we also want to send you a note of caution, because we are not assured at this moment that A&E has actually heard us. Their statement to The Hollywood Reporter left many unanswered questions….
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We have included below the IStandWithPhil.com statement released to the media moments ago, which expresses our concerns about today’s events…

 IStandWithPhil.com Applauds Return of Phil Robertson, Remains Deeply Concerned Over Unanswered Questions
Does A&E’s latest call for tolerance and inclusion reflect and embrace the biblically based values of the Robertson family and millions of Faith Driven Consumers?

(Raleigh, NC – December 27, 2013) — Faith Driven Consumer, the organization behind the widely publicized IStandWithPhil.com petition drive, with more than 260,000 supporters signing on in one week, has issued the following statement regarding the A&E Network’s decision to reinstate Phil Robertson to Duck Dynasty. This statement can be attributed to Chris Stone, founder of Faith Driven Consumer:
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“Today’s decision by A&E to reinstate Phil Robertson to Duck Dynasty is in direct response to the powerful and engaged voices of millions of Faith Driven Consumers, as highlighted by more than 260,000 signers of the IStandWithPhil.com petition.
“However, the question remains, has the Faith Driven Consumer community truly been heard?
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“Despite our celebration, we remain uncertain of A&E’s true intent. Today, in the network’s statement of their core values – centered on ‘creativity, inclusion, and mutual respect’ – Faith Driven Consumers are left wondering whether A&E considers us to be a part of America’s rich rainbow of diversity.

“Do they also now embrace the biblically based values and worldview held by the Robertson family and millions of Faith Driven Consumers?
“Did the network’s engagement and consultation with ‘numerous advocacy groups’ include Faith Driven Consumers? We eagerly anticipate A&E’s naming of those groups to ensure that our community was included.
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“Faith Driven Consumers will remain vigilant as we measure whether A&E’s actions reflect true tolerance, diversity, and mutual respect – including their equal embrace of our biblically based values and deeply held beliefs.”
Thank you for all you have done, we’ll keep you informed as this situation develops.
Blessings,
Chris Stone

Founder

Faith Driven Consumer……..

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*I don’t feel like I did to much to help, as I did invite all my book readers, Twitter friends, and both my FB friends join in me in helping to get “Phil” back on the show*~ Catherine Lyon*
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“The Robertson Family Says,”
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“Our family has become even closer through the past 9 days and we are excited to keep making a quality TV show for our dedicated fans, who have shown us wonderful support,”  Robertson said in a statement to E! News.
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“We will continue to represent our faith and values in the most positive way through Duck Dynasty and our many projects that we are currently working on. The outpouring of support and prayer has encouraged and emboldened us greatly.”……
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*Isn’t this what’s “TRULY” important here? That no matter what “Trial or Tribulation” may come your way to YOU alone, or to your WHOLE FAMILY, it’s about staying strong, and showing “UNITY” in the face of any storm God sent or not? That is my personal feelings and thoughts about this.*
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When A&E suspended Robertson, it said in a statement that it was  “extremely disappointed to have read Phil Robertson’s comments in GQ, which are  based on his own personal beliefs and are not reflected in the series ‘Duck  Dynasty.'”

“His personal views in no way reflect those of A+E Networks, who have always  been strong supporters and champions of the LGBT community,” A&E added. “The  network has placed Phil under hiatus from filming indefinitely.”

On Friday, it explained why it had abandoned that decision.

“While Phil’s comments made in the interview reflect his personal views based  on his own beliefs, and his own personal journey, he and his family have  publicly stated they regret the ‘coarse language’ he used and the  mis-interpretation of his core beliefs based only on the article,” the network  said. “He also made it clear he would ‘never incite or encourage hate.’ We at  A+E Networks expressed our disappointment with his statements in the article,  and reiterate that they are not views we hold.

“But Duck Dynasty is not a show about one man’s views,” A&E added. “It  resonates with a large audience because it is a show about family… a family  that America has come to love. As you might have seen in many episodes, they  come together to reflect and pray for unity, tolerance and forgiveness.   These are three values that we at A+E Networks also feel strongly about.”……
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**So, now you have it all summed up by A&E as the “TRUE” nature of the Why’s, How’s, and THAT shall be the end of  THAT STORY!**
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GOD BLESS ALL,
Author, Catherine Townsend-Lyon
*A PROUD SUPPORTER OF “DUCK DYNASTY”*

 

 

DP Challenge Accepted ~ We All Are Winners Money Or Not!

Daily Prompt: You’re a Winner!

You’ve just won $1 billion dollars in the local lottery. You do not have to pay tax on your winnings. How will you spend the money?

Well of course many of you know already, I don’t “Gamble”….
And I don’t want to be a “Debbie Downer” for all the rest of you fabulous people who enjoy spending a little for a chance at your piece of fortune. Sadly, the odds of winning a “Lottery” win- fall is so great that you would most likely have a better chance at getting hit by lighting, then you would winning a “State Lottery Draw Jackpot” . . . .


I spent many years employed in the “Banking” field, and oddly enough I had the good fortune to meet, “TWO” separate lottery winners in my home state of So. Oregon. I have to say though, both stories are true, and a bit sad. The first bank clients that won Oregon’s “Megabuck” lottery were an older couple, and good clients of mine. They had bought their winning tickets at a “Albertson’s” grocery store, where they shop at weekly.

She told me that she has a set of numbers she used for each weeks draw, and it was the winning ticket that won. They came into to the bank and asked if I could help them invest the some of the money, and set them up with our “Investment Specialist,” so I made them an appointment.A month or so went by, and I seen them in the bank again. She gave me the sad news that her husband was just diagnosed with MS.

They then came over and sat at my desk and told me the difficulties they have been having ever since winning their money. That their kids were all fighting because “They” didn’t “Share Enough” of the winnings with them. She then told me how all their friends and family were making them feel like “THEY” have changed since winning, but that it was the other way around. So they put their house up for sale, sadly they were moving to Carson City, NV  . . . .

They were having a house built there that will have special features so it would be a safe place once her husband became wheelchair bound with having MS. And, that was the last time I saw them. So it made me wonder about winning the lottery.

Then the following year, a young man also had won our Oregon lottery “Megabucks.” and had won $2.1 Million. He took his in a lump sum payout. I know this because he came to my desk with the check. The check, after tax was $885,000.00. He worked at a Hotel & Restaurant and ran the food service for the convention center of the hotel. His name was Steve, and he was only 24 years old. Of course he did what any 24-year-old would do if winning a lottery, he paid his mom’s house off, bought himself a new car, truck, jet-ski, and a boat!

I did open him a checking account, a money market account too. Just the interest alone from the money market was netting him in interest monthly, $2,800.00. That was more than he was making at his job, so he quit his job. What a mistake that was, because then came all the trips to “Reno and Las Vegas.” Then came all the relatives and friends out of the wood works that he didn’t know he had until he had “Money!” I did make him a appointment with an “Investment Broker,” and he attended the appointment, but never followed through with the plan. So sadly, in almost a little less than a year the money was GONE!! YUP! No Shit!
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So, my point is most likely obvious, be careful what you “WISH FOR!” Like the sayings go,
“Money Changes Everything” ~ “MO Money Mo Problems”  .  .  .  .
And please gamble and play responsively!
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God Bless All,
Author, Catherine Townsend-Lyon
http://www.amazon.com/dp/0984478485
“My True Story Of Addicted Gambling”
“It Costs More Then Money ~ It almost Cost Me My Life!”

“Eureka”! I’m Addicted And Need HELP!

Daily Prompt: Moment of Clarity
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“Tell us about a time you’d been trying to solve a knotty problem — maybe it was an interpersonal problem, a life problem, a big ol’ problem — and you had a moment of clarity when the solution appeared to you, as though you were struck by lightning.”
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“As I sat inside a cold jail cell with red swollen eyes, I thought to myself, “What the Hell am I doing here”? I sat for 5 hours waiting to be processed after the police had come to my home to arrest me. I sat waiting for my humiliating mug shoot, fingers printed, asked questions, and put back in that cement prison for another 3 hours. All the while thinking again about what I’d done, why I was here, and all for my cunning gambling addiction.”

You see, it started many years ago, gambling and I. It started as a casual past time, for a little fun and stress release. Just me and the girls now and then. But one day it all changed, and my past hurts, pains, and anger from all my childhood traumas came knocking on my door, AGAIN. Since gambling addiction is a slow, progressive, and cunning disease, before I even knew what was happening to me I became addicted to it! I learned it was easier to run, hide, and escape all those “ugly pains” from my past childhood with many hours of gambling. I had no idea how to process them in a “Healthy” way. So I began to love gambling more than “Life” itself.
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Slot_machine : Casino Slot Machine Stock Photo
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Now you would think this would be the time when a huge lightening bolt would have come out of the sky and hit me with enough force to make me have an AWE HAW” moment! But no, my life got worse before that moment ever happened while sitting there in that cold jail cell. I had been arrested for “Theft” because of my addiction, and to be “Accountable,” & take “Ownership” of my misdeeds & all for loving to gamble, this can happen when the money runs OUT! You learn more creative ways to find and get money to gamble with. When you become addicted, your mind and thinking gets invaded by the addiction as your thinking becomes distorted. This is “Just” insight, not making excuses. I had sold, pawned, traded, anything good in my life, and had  worked hard for, all to be able to “escape past hurts” and hang out with my new friend, Addicted  Compulsive Gambling.
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Even as I went through the court process, and having a lawyer to  help me, this was not the time I had that bolt of lighting hit me,…. Yet! I was dealing with a “Huge Big Ole Problem.”……..
It wasn’t until a week or so before my sentencing date in court for my crimes, that I had another  friend come knocking on my door. It was evil & my addiction telling me that it would be better for me to just “disappear” from this earth then to go on in life. That “Suicide” was the answer to all my problems, present and past pains. I agreed, and a week or so before I was to be sentenced, I took all my “Bipolar Medications” all at once, as I wanted to just go to sleep and never ever wake up again! YES, that answer was really looking appealing to me.
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Today, I am still very aware “GOD” had a very different plan and path for me! As I lay in my hospital bed, my stomach hurting from being pumped, and feeling disoriented, that was when “FINALLY” the “Bolt of Lighting” hit me. I don’t know if I dreamed it or not, but while sleeping I think I heard these little whispers in my ear or head saying, “I still had too much to do here on this planet”! That is when I had some “clarity “of what my purpose was here on this earth. Not to be an addicted, sick, or hurtful person,…….No, I was destined for greater things in my life. No Lie, as soon as I got home I got on my knees and asked “God” into my life that day. Many in recovery call him their “Higher Power,” but I call him my “GOD”! He answered all my prayers by taking all my Triggers and Urges to gamble away, so I could have at least a “chance” of long-term recovery.

God did answer all those prayers, and MORE! I’m a true “Miracle” of Gods today, as I sit and type a part of my “Life Story” with all of you. It sometimes take walking through all the fear and personal pain, hurts, your past, and a little trauma to get you to a point that you will See, acknowledge  & accept that defining moment in your life. When that “Light-Bulb” goes off over your head, or when that Lighting Bolt hits you! And learning in Recovery that, “That my Past doesn’t de-fine the woman I AM Today!
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I truly believe I was to go through all I have as part of my own life Journey. VERY soon I celebrate my 7 year “Recovery Birthday” on Jan 29th, 2014 ~ From Addicted Compulsive Gambling. Today my life is full & happy! And I have been able to put all my “Demons” to rest with all the hard work in recovery, and always remembering in “A Power Greater Then Myself” in my recovery and in life to keep “Complacent & Relapse” at bay. One on my favorite “Life Tag Lines Is,”……
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“I live life in Recovery, but through it I found my “Passion Of Writing”!
I also believe each one of us has a “Life” story to tell,  and this is a little of mine…….
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**SUICIDE is never an answer from any type of addiction!…. please call the “National Suicide Hotline”** at:

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline Phone Number
1-800-273-8255 or live chat: National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
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*May God Bless You All*
Author, Catherine Townsend-Lyon

DP Writng Challenge Accepted! *Ghosts Of Christmas Past*

Weekly Writing Challenge: Ghosts of December 23rds Past

“It’s time for a year-end retrospective — but bigger. This week, weave a story about yourself told through the lens of your past December 23rds (or 24ths, depending on which side of the International Date Line you’re on as you read this).”Personal stories that make a larger point almost always resonate with readers. As cultural voyeurs, we’re all interested in the details of each others’ lives that we glean from blog posts, but it’s the bigger life lessons, epiphanies, and shared experiences that draw us in. This week, you’ll write that kind of post — but with a very specific focus”…..
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*As a little girl, I loved the wonders of the “Christmas Season” displayed in colorful lights, wrapping paper and bows, and never being able to sleep, as wanting to hear the pitter patter of hoofs on our roof. They were carefree days. As us kids grew older, we began our own lives in many different directions. By this time, I had been through some childhood traumatic events that NO little girl should ever have to endure. By the hands of two family friends, my life would never be the same, and changed forever.*
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I became a girl afraid of others, especially men, which put a life long strain between my father and I, interfered in my “Quest” to find unconditional love in many of my relationships with not only men, but with women friends as well. I also came from a family of abuse at times, due to over inducement of alcohol with my dad and brother, who also dabbled with drugs.
I guess you could say we were a dysfunctional type of family as when living in this dynamic, you think all families live like this.
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One of our “Christmas Eve” traditions as a family was loading everyone in the station wagon, and go look at all the houses decorated with holiday lights. As we drove past house after house, I would wonder what “those families” were like inside all those “Gingerbread” looking homes.
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Again, as my siblings and I grew into adulthood, getting married, having families of our own, Christmas became one long “Battle” of WHO is going Where, hurt feelings and arguments, because someone was left out of the holiday loop, and more. I began to dread the holidays. I moved away to another state, met and married my “True Love,”  and my brother was on his third marriage and had a son. My older sister married, had three beautiful boys, then lost her husband to cancer, and began her journey as an alcoholic as my parents aided in enabling her for years. My younger sister lived at home with my parents until she was 31, and finally married just before my mom passed away in 2003.
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“This is when our “Christmas” future changed forever!”
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“The very last time I was home for Christmas was after my mom’s passing in August 2003.”
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Fast forward to the future. Dec. 2003 was the very last Christmas my family were together. Except my brother and his son was not among the so-called festive holiday. It was because of a “Dark Family Secret” that came to light. My husband and I came to help my dad through the first holiday season after my mom passed. We drove from So. Oregon to be with him.

It was all so strange. It was like we were all just “Pretending” to be happy, joyous, and soon learned that my mother was the “Christmas Glue” that held our family together. She would cook, bake, and decorate her heart out for the holidays. She was Italian, so she kept everyone in line, with no arguments at Christmas time. Even though my relationship was rocky with her too, “I Loved Her To Pieces”! And again, this was not only the last Christmas I spent with my family, sadly it was the last time I had any contact with my “Father & Two Sisters.
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Now I’m here today, on “Christmas Day.” No kids, no family, no Christmas cards exchanged, no phone calls. Just a Christmas with my hubby and  I, as it feels like just another ordinary day. I sit here and type my feelings about “Christmas” pasts,  I here all the kids outside playing with all their toys that “Santa” has left, and hearing the laughs, joy, and giggles. No, no regrets. It’s just remembering that “Life” goes on, even at holiday time.

Besides, Life in Recovery means I’m never alone. I have a “Higher Power” who is always with me each day. And I’m blessed to have a loving & caring husband too!

Yes, just sitting here remembering all of my Christmas’s Past……
Author, Catherine Townsend-Lyon
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